I’ve got to clarify right up front: by lover I don’t mean someone I’m having sex with. Not til I’m married. I’m LDS and trying to live that way, you know.
But I’ve got a little predicament.
I have a best friend who is a guy. Yes, he’s the aforementioned guy here. Yes, we see each other from time to time now. No, I didn’t lose him as a friend. Thank goodness. I need a friend like that. But I’m coming to learn he is never, ever going to feel romantically attracted to me. Ever. So I’m trying to let go. I spent months hoping things would change, but they didn’t, or if anything, any potential for that sort of relationship is all but dead now. When we used to go eat lunch/dinner as friends, the server would assume we were together. We went ate lunch together yesterday. The server assumed separate checks. Should I keep waiting for him to love me?
Meanwhile: I also had my first successful second date! By successful I mean mutually interested. He likes me a lot. He kissed my forehead. I kissed his cheek. Hearts-a-pounding, he went in for another but I turned my head a little & kissed him just on the side of his lips then wished him a good night. He is clearly very attracted to me & has asked if he can see me as soon as he’s back from his business trip. The only (possible) problem? He doesn’t call or email me or text me during the week. It’s Friday he’s in love, sort of thing. Should I hang in there and keep waiting for him to want to be my friend?
If there were a way I could put the two of them in a bag, shake them up, and have a guy who wants to be my friend AND my love pop out, that would be perfect. Obviously that won’t happen. Some evil, risky part of me supposes if I were to deny my friend of the friendship he enjoys, he might realize how much he misses me, and realize how much he actually likes me, and maybe he could love me. Another part supposes, probably rather rightly, that I really ought not let this other guy get too romantically involved before he becomes a good friend.
What I want is a real soul mate who will my friend AND my true love. I can certainly be both! Could either of these guys be both to me?
